I learned something this week

This past week, the woman who packs and ships products at work was out on a well-deserved vacation, and it fell to me to do her job (not sure why exactly, I think it was because there is an unspoken agreement that I have nothing better to do). Well, after a bazillion hours in the heat and unsanitary conditions (because UMBC is a third-world country, a water main broke for the THIRD TIME IN THREE WEEKS leaving us without water, and thus electricity), working hard at work for the first time since I was an intern, I discovered alot about myself.

First of all I discovered that I still have my work ethic. I discovered that I can work very hard for eight hours with few breaks and no thank-yous. I discovered that I don’t need thank-yous as long as I have clear metrics of success. Five packages need to go out today? No problem! I got those all done and I felt high as a kite with self-worth. I realized that I can learn new tasks very fast and be very good at it, as long as it is explained thoughroughly beforehand. I also learned that even though I strongly disagree with many aspects of my company, I am able to remove my pride and work hard regardless, because it is my job and I am proud to do my job well.

Backstory: I HATE my job because it’s the most ambiguous job ever; my title is “Executive Assistant” but I do marketing, communications, administrative work, product development, consumer sales, and new business development. Yep, I’m a one-stop shop. If I had any power I would be doing executive-level stuff. But alas, herein lies the problem- within my company I have very little real power, no budget to do anything, and no respect from my fellow employees. I have no goals except “improve this division of the company”, no metrics of success, no incentives (monetary or otherwise), no room for upward growth, a yearly raise that doesn’t even equal inflation (so in reality I will be earning the same thing in perpetuity), no formal education (I was supposed to get 2500/year for eductation as part of my compensation package but oh yeah, there’s the caviat that if the company has the money which it never does). I never know what I’m supposed to be doing and so find myself meandering through the internet haphazardly trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing (half the time, the other half is spent drowning my miseries in facebook). My job description has changed 5 times in one year. Due to all this, I felt worthless, useless, lazy, and I put so much stress on myself because I was reaching for unreachable and invisible goals.

So I had been feeling really down about myself, more so than I had thought, until one week of good, hard work showed me that the problem really ISNT me at all. Thank God for coworker vacations! Amen.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: