How to avoid a cheating man

So the author of the book “The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do To Prevent It” claims to advise women on how to help thier husbands stay faithful: show your man that you appreciate him.

Really?

Did we need a book to tell us this? Maybe I hang out with too many horny old women, but I feel as if I managed to get a bite or two of old-fashioned advice over the years. Things like “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” and “a woman has a duty to her husband in bed”. The first one (the only one I have direct experience with) has always proven true, without exception. I have recieved more hugs and kisses from my guy friends after baking them something than I ever would have after a mushy lovey-dovey talk. The second one I have been assured of by both happy men and happy women, and I believe thier word. Of COURSE we’re supposed to show the people we love that we love them. I learned that somewhere in my teenagehood, when I became fully rational and in possession of money. Not that we need to give people gifts to show them that we love them- a word or a hug or a simple look of appreciation works too. But if this concept comes as a surprise to anyone, I wonder how sad thier relationship really is.

Another statement the author made is: “There is clearly no blame on the woman if he’s cheated.” I take exception to this statement. Objectively, sure. Marriage is definately a two-way street, and don’t let anyone say that I believe otherwise. My man sure as heck better keep himself in check. However, if I nag him for years, never initiate making love, never bring him a warm lunch at work nor a cold drink when working in the yard, how much can I really claim to be innocent? “But I’m a good, God-fearing woman!” you say. Well, one of the sneakiest ways the devil gets ahold of us is through sins of omission.

Sound like alot of work? It is. Even just thinking of the ways to please a man is taxing, much less taking the time to do it. Well you know what, life is hard, and marriage is harder. If you don’t like that, don’t get married. But what a beautiful challenge, the challenge of self-giving love! But a marriage that is blessed by God is abundantly blessed with grace to help with that. Love Him and He’ll help you to love him.

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2 Responses

  1. I know of a lot of men, who, by middle age, are withdrawn, emotionally, from their wives and kids. I think that lack of appreciation has a lot do do with this–while the book is stating something that ought to be obvious, I see these guys not being celebrated by their wives.

  2. Every couple has varying degrees of selfishness inside of them when they get married. A good holy marriage is one where the man helps the woman and the woman helps the man… become less selfish. As it is so aptly put by the Catholic Church, a married couple is to help each other get to heaven. Part of that is to help our spouse avoid temptation. The best way to help your spouse avoid temptation is to love them unselfishly. Giving up one’s own self (and selfishness) to help another achieve heaven is a worthwhile goal… the goal our Lord has given to each of us.

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