People are weird, Episode 1

K and I are stuck in a windowless white room as we scan papers all day, so we have plenty of time to talk- and talk we do, about love and life and very odd people. She is the origin of the title of this series. In our conversations, the phrase “people are weird” is used as a closing argument, preceded by “I just don’t know” and it could be completely spliced out in favor of “its a good thing we aren’t like that!” thus establishing our normalcy and serving as the basis for our judgments. It’s a statement that doesn’t really need explanation to ourselves: we are utterly and totally normal and everyone else is just do darn quirky at least, and disturbing at best.

Like the sandwich thief. Here at work, money regularly gets stolen- not alot usually, but people’s lunch money when we’re collecting for a big group order out lunch. But the trickery has gone to a much odder level of late. Someone stole a coworker’s sandwich right out of the fridge and threw it in the trash can, but deep down like as to hide it. The same person (supposedly) took a bite out of another coworker’s strawberries and put it back. Who does that, outside of middle school passive-aggressive antics?

And like the shirtless allergy patient. There’s a guy who comes in every other week to get his allergy shot. Now, they advise patients to wear a t-shirt or an undershirt underneath a button-down shirt to make it easier on the nurses to give the shot in the upper arm. But this young, and may I say hairless and six-pack possessing, man wears no undershirt and strips half naked to get his shot. Allergy serum with a side of sexy, please? Although, it’s a little on the creepy side when he does it EVERY time…

And like the couple at my restaurant who- honest to goodness- ate dessert first. I gave my spiel about the features and my cute line about making sure to save room for our home made sweet potato pie. The man at the table chimed in, “You mean she’ll have to save room for the entree.” I chuckled, not quite sure if I heard that right. But when they ordered “sweet potato pie, but please bring it out first” I did a double take again, but of course complied. Who could refuse such a quaint but sincere request?

Through this series I hope to prove to you that K and I are the ones that are completely normal and in the rest of the world lie the strange ones. Trust me. People are weird. Just not us.

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One Response

  1. Dessert first?! Their parents must be on vacation or something.

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