People are Weird, Episode 2

So it was a full moon. I’ve come to dread full moons. A year ago I would have sworn up and down that it was all a wives’ tale at best, or downright superstitious. But now, working as a waitress who every day goes to work thinking she has seen it all but every day is proven wrong, I will swear to you that people change when there are full moons, and strange things happen.

So the full moon was out, and it was a quiet night at the restaurant. The most noise came from a party of 20 celebrating a birthday; otherwise, only a few couples were scattered throughout the rest of the tables. At my table was a well-dressed young black couple, maybe age 28 or so. They seemed normal enough as they ordered. When I brought out the salads and turned to leave, however, the man stopped me and said, “…Aren’t you going to cut them for us?”
“Uh…excuse me?”
“You know, cut them up and season them for us, like what’s that other place, that italian place,” offered the woman.
“Olive Garden?” I asked, still mystified.
“Yeah, them,” returned the man. “They cut up your salads for people.”
“Uh…we don’t do that, I mean we’re kind of short staffed, maybe if we had more people…” I covered.
The man was not satisfied. “Well then who is going to cut up our food when it comes out?”
He had gotten a steak. “Well, sir,” I said, “The reason we don’t do that is because your idea of a bite size might be different from another person’s bite size…you know, its like a–personal preference thing.”

Later, the man was outside talking with my manager, as requested, while I was relating the incident to the hostess who had asked why I was so incredulous. A table of four, well-dressed, overweight older white people was passing us at the hostess’ station on their way out, but they didn’t make it far. The last man in the group stopped and turned back to the dining room, to face the table of 20 already happy, slightly tipsy boisterous young black people and started breakdancing. Pausing, he said to the party, “Bet you didn’t see that coming, did ya?” and proceeded to breakdance a bit more. The entire restaurant erupted in screams of laughter and peals of applause. Only when his wife pulled him away did he stop.

The rest of the night was quiet, but it left me with a fear of new moons and rock-solid confirmation that People. Are. Weird.

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